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Submitted on
September 23, 2009
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mother concept sketch by raybender mother concept sketch by raybender
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People of DA ! please tell me your opinion about this rough concept sketch! ideas how to improve it (compositionally) are very welcome!
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:iconsesakath:
This is all-too beautiful and eye-catching! I love how the machine looks.

To help you improve, I got some tips:
Smoothen out the light reflections on the cylinder shapes of the machine. It will make the texture much more smoother and metallic.

The men that are doming down from the machine needs more detail and the light source needs to be smoothened out on them too. The closest man to be darkened up too, because there is too much light on him. The lighting is like he's near the light, but far away from it. Think, for example, of how the moon shadows the sun during the eclipse. If the moon is further away, the light won't affect it that much. If the moon is nearer, more light will envelope it.

Hopes this will help you out! I did try my best to help. :)
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
27 out of 30 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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:iconfrecklesmile:
frecklesmile Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I like how you said this is a sketch but in reality it's really a MASTERPIECE!
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:iconnortenyo:
Nortenyo Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2010
The composition is actually very good.The only thing I will say is the floating dude is on the same level as the green core light thingy...it would have been better to offset that up or down from that position. It would have created more dynamic tension that way. But the overall lighting is incredible. Probably make the guyhigher that would keep the eye moving around the painting.
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:iconbhookabhediya:
BhookaBhediya Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2010
nice bro
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:iconpyrah:
Pyrah Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2009
To be completely honest, I didn't even see the guy closest to the fourth wall as an actual person until he was pointed out in the critique. Otherwise this is an amazing piece.
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:iconnucleard00d:
NuclearD00d Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2009
This reminds me of the game, Prototype.

Fancy. As my artistic sense is worse than that of a brick wall.. I've got nothing to add.
Well done though.
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:iconlordofthebling-xxl:
LordoftheBling-XXL Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2009
this is great. only thing i could think of to improve it would be to add a lil bit of wires on the bottom right and maybe the left coming from the extreme foreground and leading into the mid background to add more depth and to give the light a substance to bounce off of.
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:iconnr-krusi:
NR-Krusi Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2009
Awesome job! I'd make the character on the left closer to the viewer (bigger with more contrast) because it might add more story to the image.
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:iconales-kotnik:
ales-kotnik Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2009  Student Digital Artist
everything looks goot to me except i would do something with those 2 mans - don't know what (experiment)
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:iconalexmartinez:
alexmartinez Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2009
very cool concepts, Alex!^^
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:iconantaria-nova:
Antaria-Nova Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2009
Yes, great work. :)

Humm, I agree with AndreeWallin, and would in addition to that say that you could maybe add some visible consoles around the room under the screens, and maybe some ppl working on them, aswell as some extra machinery or stuff/cables/misc under the core.

Other than that I have no advice.

Are you going to refine this picture? Maybe even expand it?
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